Ricki's Higher Self Blog

Truth, or Wannabe?

2012-02-01T15:45:00.008-05:00

I was reading through some of my older articles (before blogging) and ran across Truth, or Wannabe? It was written, obviously, not long after 9/11. As I read, it occurred to me that 2012 could easily replace 9/11 in the article. 2012 is a hot topic and much has been written and much is currently being discussed, well, everywhere!

Give it a try and see what you think:

There has been a plethora (I love that word!) of articles and books written since 9/11. They offer advise on how to go on, how to grieve, how to face your fears, how to cope, how to change the world, and even some proclaiming the end of the world. In my opinion, some were written from the heart, while others were written to make a buck. Some reinforce religious dogma, and some would have us building bomb shelters. Some are meant to exalt, and some are meant to tear down.

Like anything you read or intend to read, you’ll know the truth when you read it. The trick is knowing what is true for you, and what is merely evidence of what your ego wants you to believe.

For example, if you are holding a belief, or wanting to believe, that extraterrestrials are our only salvation, I’m sure that you could find written material that will support that. I call it “gathering evidence.” If a certain religion must be blamed for the world’s woes, I’m sure you can find evidence for that as well. In fact, for several weeks after 9/11, an acquaintance filled my email box with attachments of “you need to know!” propaganda against Islam. He doesn’t know me very well.

When I’m reading something new, I first tap into my good ol’ common sense. If I can’t make sense of it, I go to step two – what am I resisting here? What do I believe that blocks my understanding? If I come up with something, great! This is my opportunity to look at what’s up with me, what do I believe, and does it serve or limit me. If it is not working for me, I get rid of it. Now I’m more open to new ideas, new truth for myself.

If I come up with nothing, I pass on it. I know my truth, and this isn’t it. Or, I’ll search for further explanation of the text.

I trust myself to know the truth when it is presented. How do I know truth? It is an “Aha” moment, an excitement in my body, or a warm feeling of confirmation, a flash of light in my mind and heart, and a desire to be the messenger of truth.

How do I know what’s not true? A “no” whispers, sometimes shouts, throughout my being. I feel sad and heavy. And I want to be the messenger of what is NOT true.

If I feel anger, I go directly to step two, because anger is a clear signal to me that fear and self-righteousness are present.

These steps do not always work for me the first time. A previously dismissed truth will re-present itself to me repeatedly until I “get it.”

You may recognize yourself taking these same steps, consciously or unconsciously. I hope this is so, because there is a “plethora” of soul-feeding, peace-creating literature out there.

I’ve talked a lot about my truth, and your truth. The truth is, we are all one, each one of us is “we”. When one of “we” gets right down to it, right into the heart-afire, glory be, connected-in-love truth of it, we will all get it. If what I believe separates me in any way from you, it is not the truth. If what you believe separates me from you or you from me in any way, it is not the truth.

Some tips on what to read post-9/11: If it ain’t about love, it’s about fear – skip it. If it ain’t about unity, it’s about separation – save your money. If it ain’t about peace, it’s about war – read it only if you’re looking to justify and collect evidence pro-killing. If it’s a very, very old book written by old men – just know you may also need a library of other books offering definitions, explanations, interpretations, expansions and modernizations.

And guess what? This is not the truth! It’s my truth, what I believe, and you must find your own truth. You and your Higher Self.

2012 - I'm Not Redy!

2012-01-01T10:10:00.007-05:00

Yep, that is my thought as we enter this highly proclaimed, prophesied, talked-about, mysterious year. 2012, with December 20th being the last day on the Mayan calendar (as well as other ancient timetables). What does it mean? What do we do?

Lucky for me (luck?), I just happen to be the owner of the Higher Self Bookstore where there are not only many books on the subject of 12/20/12, but lots of conversation as well. And, I have had the privilege of listening to the authors and speakers who have done the research, not to mention the channelers and psychics, those renown and those lesser so.

Several times over the past year I have been asked what I think is going to happen, and I must admit that my response changed as I received new information (new to me:). What I believe boils down to this: Huge changes are already happening. The Earth will do what the Earth needs to do. The planets will line up as they will line up. We have the power to direct the outcomes.

I am particularly inspired by the science (you will not learn these things by watching the news). Science has proven that our energies have a definitive affect on the Earth and the outcomes of the changes we are facing.

So, my intentions in preparing for 2012 were simply to: 1) get fit and 2) raise my vibration. Doing just these two things will make it easier for me (my body, my spirit) to move through whatever does happen. And what I do for me I do for you. Good intentions, yes, but my progress wasn't what I'd aimed for.

I know they sound like typical New Year resolutions - lose weight, meditate more. But my heart and soul know this is a bigger game, and when one chooses to play a bigger game, the challenges get bigger as well. Just because I'm saying "I'm not ready" does not mean I've given up.

Progress has been made, for sure. I am more in the moment, I am listening to a voice I never paid much attention to in the past, I take action when the voice speaks, I do what's in front of me to do, there is far less pain in my body. I look for the miracles everyday with excitement, and I love.

I just love everyone. You don't know that I am loving you? Well, I am! Fear has a hard time stepping in when I focus on just Being Love. Can you imagine if everyone picked Being Love to be their focus, everyday? It's our "heart vibrations" that will determine if this is the time of saving grace, or apocalypse.

For many of us, this is going to be quite a roller coaster ride - one of terror or one of excitement. You get to choose. I say, "Bring It On!” with a smile and a wink. Happy New Year! And I do mean "Happy" - Be Happy, Be Love!

Playing the Game

2011-11-30T13:17:00.007-05:00

On a lazy Saturday afternoon during vacation, we were sitting around playing a game called Skip-Bo. The object of the game (in order to win, of course) was to get rid of the 30 cards in your stack. The strategy in winning was to not play cards that would allow another player to play a card off their stack.

During the fifth (I think, I kinda lost tract) game I had a thought come to me about changing the intention of the game. As this idea developed it became more and more uncomfortable to play the way I had been playing, which was basically a cut-throat strategy.

So, for the next game, I presented this idea: The intention of the game is to play in such a way as to help everyone else to win. You still had to follow the rules, and you absolutely had to play the card at the top of your stack if it could be played. I called it taking care of yourself.

One of us became quite disturbed at first, not because she didn't want to play with that intention, but because she no longer knew how to play. Changing the intention changed the strategy, and she had the strategy on how to win the game the way it was played before down pat. There were no rules for the new intention; the rules of the game remained the same.

There was a little confusion as we focused on playing the cards in a way that best served the other players. The old strategy had to go out the window! Where the focus had been on the "most important card" being the one on top your stack and playing all the cards possible to get that card off the top of the stack, that stack now actually became a nuisance. That card sometimes blocked another player's chance to play their card, which blocked them from winning.

Some gambling was attempted as well. Do I play all the cards in my hand so I can get another five cards that may help the other players win, even if playing all the cards in my hand blocked someone else's play? This consideration was played out in different ways by the different players. No judgment, just see what happens.

The game took at least twice as long as the previous games. An interesting result was that at the end, everyone had just a couple cards left in their stack. Playing the old way, the remaining stack counts would often be very unbalanced - one player may actually have most their cards left!

Once the confusion was gone, once everyone let go of how to do it right, the feel of the game was awesome! It felt good, really good.

So, how can we apply this new intention to other games? Well, maybe some of you already play this way, so it's not so new. How can we apply this intention to the game of life? What are the rules and how do we do it right? It really doesn't matter about the rules or doing it right. What became obvious in the new-and-improved Skip-Bo game was that if you held the intention for everyone to win, you knew what to do.

When everyone wins, well EVERYONE wins! When we help everyone be successful, it just makes sense (well, now it's much clearer to me - gotta love visuals!) that we, too, achieve success. We Are One, after all, don'tcha know:)

Are you ready to play a new game, use a new strategy? Just imagine if we were all out to help everyone else win - what a game of life that would be! I wanna play! I wanna play!

Happy Holidays to everyone! Come on over - we'll play some cards!

The Drama Demon

2011-11-02T13:57:00.003-04:00

Drama. We all get sucked into it at times if we aren’t awake and aware. I refer to awake and aware as being in my right mind. I am totally guilty of being asleep at the wheel, jerking awake to look around and say “What the hell just happened? How long have I been here?”

What gets me is that I know better. I have practiced standing in that neutral space, separating the facts from the stories and blocking the energies shot in my direction. Still, sometimes I’m caught unaware. I am grateful for the years of practice that help me “wake up!” much sooner than later.

This ever happen to you? You get wrapped up in your perceptions, or someone else’s perceptions, making up stories and proclaiming what is right and what is wrong - rather loudly! Then you proceed to bring others into your drama, convincing them that you are right and justice must be served! Well, maybe not to that extreme. Maybe you just start feeling bad, your vibration takes a dive, and you just want to feel better.

Is it possible to avoid the Drama Demon? Yes. Let me give you a couple examples.

First, take a step back. Now, identify what is fact from the parts that are made up. By fact, I mean, those things that are tangible, touchable, etc. As in “these words were said.” Leave out all the emotion. Now, the rest is all perception. We give meaning to the “words said” (we fill in the blanks) and draw from our past to make sense of what we just heard. Don’t get me wrong, our past serves us well, unless it doesn’t. Our past experiences can keep us safe and help us from making “the same mistake.” But sometimes our past remembrances can cause us to assign an experience that just does not apply in every situation.

Second, ask yourself “what else can it be?” Again, we make up the stories and there are always lots of stories that be imagined in any situation. Try to get more facts. If this isn’t possible, stick to the story that works best for you. One that comes from love and helps you to feel good. Do not judge – discern.

A little practice and you may find you can avoid a lot of drama. Besides, no one likes having to say they made a mistake and have to make amends after playing with the Drama Demon. Been there, done that, too.

Wake Up - I'm Dreaming!

2011-09-29T09:55:00.009-04:00

A few mornings ago, I was attempting to sleep in since I didn't have to open the Higher Self Bookstore that day. Kafi was scheduled to work all day and I actually had the option of going in or working at home. Or playing - now there's a concept!

My bladder was protesting, but I stayed in the bad, drifting in and out, tossing and turning a little. This is what I remember. A picture showed up in my dream, a scene - a vision. As a story followed, I realized that I was the one making up the story! I was directing and choreographing what came next, scene after scene. That realization is what woke me up. I believe I sat up on the bed with my mouth open, in awe and wonder.

I was creating my dream in a dream. I became aware that I was creating a dream in a dream, a story with characters and scenery and conversation. So now I ponder - how can I create my reality the way I created the dream? Is my reality one that I have directed and choreographed and I am just not aware?

Of course, I have watched The Secret, read more books, attended workshops and set up routines of meditation, visualization, journaling, and affirmations. Then life happens and I get busy handling and coping. Do I allow this because the reality I prefer just doesn't seem to appear as quickly as I want? Probably.

As I learn (by paying attention, noticing, becoming aware, mostly), missing pieces come to me, like in this dream. I recall the feeling of it, of being in a place of no interruptions, no distractions, the easy flow of it. Now I am ready to give it another go.

Exactly how to proceed is not clear, but I have a desire to meditate again. To take that meditation and visualization into my everyday wide awake life. There's a feeling of urgency about it. Once I'm aware it is easier to remember and keep it in the present moment.

Now you are aware as well. Join me in this experiment? Great, let's keep in touch. May our dreams and realities meet in peace and joy.

NOW Practice NOW

2011-08-31T11:51:00.007-04:00

At this moment, I am practicing writing, typing, letting the words flow through me, and listening for a customer to enter the Higher Self Bookstore. Of course, we all know you cannot do more than one thing at a time. I like to think I can, that I’m a fabulous multi-tasker, but in reality – one thing at a time. (Excuse me; I need to peek in on the front of the store.)

Ok, where was I? Yes, practicing. I had the honor of meeting Dan Millman, author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, among many other just as wonderful books. He presented me with a copy of his latest book, The Four Purposes of Life. I know what you’re thinking, another book on the purpose of life. Well, this one intrigued me, and I read it over the next two days. (Oh, there goes the phone.)

The big AHA for me in this book was a way to be in the now, to experience the present moment – by practicing. Whatever I am doing in any moment, practice that! (I really should be cleaning the bathroom; I’ll do it in a minute.) Practice doing the dishes, practice typing, practice taking a shower, practice, practice, practice! (Oh, now I have to go to the bathroom! Be right back. Unless I get busy, in which case I’ll be back as soon as I can.)

Ok, I’m back, and practicing sitting in this chair. Now I’m practicing talking to you! Yes, I’ve been poking a little fun at trying to do several things at one time and getting interrupted, physically and mentally. But I gotta tell you, when I truly focus on practicing what I’m doing, I am in the Now. Another benefit of practicing what I’m going, I learn way to do it better! That’s what practicing was always all about, wasn’t it?

My daughter and new grandson now live with me. Jonathan Stanley is eight weeks, and Anna is recovering from a post-partum heart failure and graves disease (I know I should capitalize, but I don’t want to give them that much importance).

(Oh, I have to leave for a bit. Sorry.) Ok, I just practiced Being with some lovely people and ringing up a couple sales. I’m not just playing with the words here. When I remember to practice what I’m doing, I am fully present!

Now, back to family life. On top of everything else, my lists of things to do have multiplied significantly. As I practice feeding the baby, and not thinking about what I should be doing or what I’ll do next when I get up off this chair, I enter the moment in Joy. I practice interacting with my daughter, focused and fully present, and I enJoy her company! Of course, sometimes I forget, and when I forget, I’m not so happy – go figure!

My intention is to practice what’s in front of me to do (not “think” about why I have to do it, why doesn’t someone else do it, it’s not my turn), and trust that I will know what to do in the next moment that follows. Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now, says to “think” less to be in the present moment. If I’m practicing, my thinking is minimized to the one thing I’m doing. Imagine that! So, thanks Dan and Eckhart, from me, in the Now!

Anew! Anew! Anew!

2011-08-01T07:55:00.006-04:00

Jonathan Stanley Blanchard was born on July 5th! Same birthday as my Mom's. My Mom passed away June 2. Yes, I give her full responsibility and credit for orchestrating this event. My daughter, Anna, calls him JS. JS is aNEW creation. Reminds me of a rap song I wrote a while back, thought I'd share!

Now, just get a rap beat in your head and sing! Oh, I mean Rap! Feels good, you'll like it. Maybe we can put a band together and take it on the road....the possibilities are infinite!

Anew Rap

The same ole life keeps happenin’ to you
You do all the things that you should do
With etiquette and manners, please and thank you
But the same ole life keeps happenin’ to you

Create yourself Anew.....Anew
Create yourself Anew, Anew, Anew, Anew!

You smile when you’re sad and be sad when you should be
You check your dreams and take a look at real-ality
Indoctrination’s got you and you long to be free
The same ole life keeps on...don’t you see?

Create yourself Anew.......Anew
Create yourself Anew, Anew, Anew, Anew!

There’s a better way, you gotta look down deep
Check you beliefs before you go back to sleep
Name your dreams and shout ‘em in the street
Speak your truth, don’t be afraid to repeat.

Create yourself Anew.......Anew
Create yourself Anew, Anew, Anew, Anew!

Don’t hide your light, the world needs your greatness.
Look in the mirror and claim your mighty likeness
You’re a child of God in all your brightness
Take your stand to be love and rightness

Create yourself Anew......Anew
Create yourself Anew, Anew, Anew, Anew!

Create yourself Anew......Anew
Create yourself Anew, Anew, Anew, Anew!

Signs, Or Lack Thereof

2011-07-02T08:25:00.012-04:00

The importance of signs, as well as the consequences of the lack of signs, has been joyously and painfully brought to my attention. Here is a picture of the Higher Self Bookstore just a few months ago. We could easily direct customers here by saying "look for the purple awning!"

The owners of this building decided it needed a face lift, and we were actually quite excited about it. The first thing they did was take down the purple awning. The second was to remove our address numbers. Almost immediately people were calling to find out where we had moved to, did we close? - they couldn't find us! How many looked for us, didn't call, and went on their way with their own assumptions - no idea. We grabbed markers and created temporary signs for the window, because the owners promised they would give us new signage (that was three months ago). But as you can see, we've practically disappeared. Dear Friends of the Higher Self, new and old, we are here!!!

But the numbers don't lie - sales are down a full 25%, so it has become quite obvious the importance of signs!

Personally, I have been paying closer attention to signs these days. Ever notice how you complain about the billboards blocking out the scenery, until you need a sign! Driving back to Michigan from Florida with my folks, it was time to stop for the day. We needed a suite with a couch for my Mom, and bam! - a billboard for a motel with suites! Then Dad said a Bob Evans would be good (cause Mom loves their crepes), and bam! - Bob Evans billboard, same exit as the motel with suites! Dad said something like, "now how did that happen?" I said, "we got angels, Dad!"

During a radio interview I was asked how one knows they are on the right path, pursuing the right dream? I had never considered this before, but out of my mouth came "if it just seems too hard, that's not it. If very step you take is just really, really hard, then it's not right for you somehow." It wasn't meant to put someone off their dream, just look for the signs that it just may be a little off - direction, timing, attitude, limiting beliefs, maybe it's someone else's dream for you, or a dream you think you "should" have.

There have been many challenges for me lately - the "economy", scaffolding blocking the Higher Self, lack of physical signage - but the true sign was that it was all just too hard. So, taking my own advice, I'm taking a good look at the signs, the obvious and not so obvious. Somehow I have stepped off my path and entered a...jungle! I've pulled out my true compass and I'm headed back to my path, my dream, my destiny by design. The signs were all around me, I just couldn't see them. Now I'm looking, with eyes wide open. It's all good, the journey, it's all good.

AND, the Higher Self Bookstore is still here! 328 E. Front Street, the first block that starts "one-way", a few doors before you come to the parking structure, Downtown Traverse City, between Yen Yoga and McMillan's Framing! We just look a little different. Come see!

There's a Fine Line

2011-05-31T10:04:00.009-04:00

As you know, there is sometimes a very fine line between living in your day consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally. When I am teaching, one word you'll hear me say repeatedly is "notice." When you "notice" what the thoughts are going through your head, you bring yourself back to a conscious state and can ask yourself the (sometimes hard) questions, like: Why am I thinking that? What's really going on with me? Is it true?

I'm an observer, and a darn good one. There was a time in my life, though, that being an unconscious observer was how I avoided really living. I spent much of my time watching others do, play, work, and grow. I took notes, but never really jumped into the game. It was safer to sit back as a spectator and just do what absolutely had to be done, that which was required of me. I kept my emotions in check, and spoke little (unless I was with friends and felt safe - but even then....).

Now that I am aware of what I was up to I can check in with myself, notice, if I am repeating an unconscious way of being, or if I am being an observer intentionally. Like I said, I am a very good conscious observer. I can view what's going on around me, assessing what is and isn't, and deciding what needs to be done - without letting my emotions take over.

The unconscious observer can get very good at burying, hiding, and denying feelings, often appearing cold, distant, and unemotional. The conscious observer may appear exactly the same way. The difference is that the conscious observer recognizes and acknowledges their feelings and emotions, they just don't let them rule!

There are so many changes going on, many of which I do not prefer! Sudden illnesses, deaths, and losses, in my own family and around the world. I find it necessary to "notice" and check in on myself several times a day. It's what I've practiced - and I'm so glad I did. I want to be fully aware, fully conscious, Fully feeling, and fully intentional. I can't do that asleep, sleep-walking through my days. There's a fine line and I want to be on the intentional side of it!

There is a fine line between observing life as it passes you by and being awake to life with all its emotions. There's a fine line between being judgemental and using discernment, between performing for approval and behaving according to agreed upon expectations, between escaping into daydreams and consciously deciding where to put your attention, between being a know-it-all and being the best that you can be. And finally, being an exception to the rule because you feel you must and being an exceptional human being.

So notice! Write this word on sticky notes and place them...everywhere! Little reminders to be awake and intentional in your thinking and your actions. Practice. Get yourself a wake-up buddy! Life is so much better with eyes open...and focused!

What Did I Say?

2011-05-02T14:35:00.006-04:00

I don't text on my mobile phone much but my daughter does. Sometimes she comes to me quite upset about a text she received, reading way more into it than what is being said. The fact is: words were typed. The actual story behind the words is up to interpretation of the reader. We are all using texts and emails and other social media to communicate more and more. I wrote this article ten years ago (Anna is now 28!), and it is still timely, maybe even more so now. Blessings.

What Did I Say?

When I was young, I was taught to talk. Then I was taught how to talk. Respectfully, politely, using the proper volume, and never speaking in anger. The hardest part was using the proper “tone-of-voice.” Still is, sometimes.

Fear of saying the wrong words in the wrong tone-of-voice too softly or too loudly literally kept my mouth shut. Of course, I didn’t understand about body language yet, so when I got “How dare you look at me like that” it was as though my mind had been read, my thoughts heard, in, of course, the wrong tone-of-voice. Oh, the guilt of it all!

Without being aware of what I was doing, I began talking less and being careful not to show emotions when I did. To do that, I had to suppress my feelings and don a magical mask that knew how to change to keep the other person comfortable.

These were not conscious choices my young self was making. They were unconscious, mechanical choices made to protect and assure survival.

As I write, I can see how this may be interpreted as very dramatic and leaves the reader to imagine how awful my growing up years were, or compare my past to their past and think of me as a cry baby. Interpretation of what is said and what is written is the key.

Writing seemed an easy solution to communicating without upsetting someone with the wrong intonation, word, or “look.” At school I researched the facts carefully for reports, and passed notes to friends and potential boyfriends in class.

I didn’t always get the “A”, and once in a while a friend would be mad after reading a note, leaving my stunned, asking “What did I say? What did I say?”

College provided speech and communication classes, and the job offered a “powerful communication skills” workshop. One workshop the company offered tried to teach us how to identify “personalities” so you would know how to communicate with them effectively. It’s one thing to know how to talk; it’s another to know whom you are talking to. I didn’t get it at the time, and I couldn’t catalog your personality now if I tried.

Back then I figured I knew what I meant when I said what I did, and you should know what I meant as well. Just as I always knew what you meant when you said what you said. Sometimes I’d pretend I didn’t know what you meant and would ask you what you meant by what you said. But I really knew. I was always right.

Did you ever find yourself having to explain or defend what you said or wrote? Of course you did and I did as well. I explained a lot, frustrated that I had to do so. Why wasn’t I understood when it was so very clear to me? There must be something wrong…with the other person, not me!

After my divorce, I tried to write letters to my ex instead of talking to him directly. Talking with him (really – mostly I listened) caused me to be emotional, defensive, and angry. I had a hard time saying what I wanted to say because I felt so intimidated. When I wrote my letters, I made sure I was calm, my thoughts collected, and tried my best to stick to the facts. It didn’t work. His take on what I had written never matched my intent.

It wasn’t just with him. As I paid closer attention I finally realized that there was something going on with the receiver of my written word that caused an interpretation different from what I thought I had communicated. But still, I must have done something wrong. It’s always all about me, right?

I have been paying quite a bit of attention to language and words, as well as tone-of-voice, over the last few years as I’ve pursued personal growth and awakening. I have learned and identified such things as negative language, disempowering words, and that there is no such thing as “constructive” criticism. That someone’s tone-of-voice will reveal how they feel.

Around my house, while my daughter was growing up, you may have heard what sounds like “disrespect” coming from Anna’s mouth, because she yelled or growled or used the wrong tone of voice when speaking to me. I took a lot of flack from other people about allowing this. But I wanted to know how she was feeling! I wanted her to know she could always speak to me and say what’s so, in the moment, with feelings. I would not shut her up! I don’t know if I was right or wrong. I do know Anna, now eighteen, speaks freely to me about just about anything. And I have her deepest respect.

Now, when what I have said or written gets interpreted differently than how I intended it, I first check myself for any underlying, unconscious thoughts or feelings that may have risen to the surface and were identified by the recipient. It happens!

If I find nothing there, I check to see what’s up with my listener. Did I hit a sore spot by accident? Are they just really in a rotten mood today? Is there some way I can help? I get now that it isn’t ALWAYS about me.

In all relationships, from the one you have with the postal carrier to your significant other, there has to be communication. At some point¸ and sometimes regularly, there will be “miscommunication.” This is the opportunity you give to each other to grow. To get in touch with yourself and to connect with them. This is how the real truths and beliefs are revealed.

You get to decide in the moment if you want to continue in a dialogue of misunderstandings, hoping in the end that you get to be right? Or connect in love, share, grow, and everybody wins! Waking up to what is going on beyond the words, the looks, the tone-of-voice is the first step to real communication.

A Likely Story

2011-03-23T09:54:00.007-04:00

The Higher Self Bookstore celebrates it's 25 year anniversary on April 7th. I became caretaker on July 7, 2000. The numerology and astrology of these birth dates is really quite fascinating. But that's another story.

The story I heard about the origin of the Higher Self Bookstore goes something like this: Donna, the original creator, was buying so many books and products to support her personal studies, growth, and development that her husband suggested she might as well open a store. So she did!

I like this story, and I've repeated the story to others. However, I have never confirmed the story with Donna. There actually may be no truth to it at all! Now I find myself pondering just how many stories I repeat out of ignorance, because I either like the story or because I'm afraid and pass on the story to warn you about something you should be afraid of as well.

Every once in a while I forward something via email, or copy and paste on facebook, information I find out later is totally bogus. Is it because I want it to be true? Do I send it on from a place of compassion and consciousness-raising, or to create drama?

Happy stories that I've made up and hold dear can be like a good joke, bringing smiles and laughter. Whether they are true or not may hold no consequence. Stories of gloom and doom are not quite so innocent.

So what about the stories we accepted as true just because someone we assume is an authority. Like our parents, teachers, spiritual leaders, politicians, and authors. Granted, most the stories work for us - like this is how to read, how to drive a car, how to make oatmeal, and how to have safe sex. And then there are those that just don't work anymore and show up as limitations. You know which ones I'm talking about because they don't feel right, don't make sense. They separate us, make us fearful, judgmental, and self-righteous. We repeat them anyway.

When I say "Challenge authority", what I mean is do your research. Ask yourself, "is this true." It may not matter if you are just going to keep it to yourself. It may be a good practice to check the facts before entering into a debate.

The good news about stories is you made it up, or you made a choice to accept it. Yep, good news because you can also choose to change it or make up a new story. We are meaning-making, storytelling human beings, so make it a good one, one that works - for the highest good of all with harm to none.

Everything you've just read here is just a likely story. I made it up. I don't know the truth beyond a reasonable doubt, but I have done some research so it makes this all just a "likely" story.

Flow with the Flux

2011-03-01T07:15:00.006-05:00

My friend, Brenda, often said something like, "He's giving me the flux!" She was obviously frustrated at these times and I just assumed she was saying, "He's making me crazy!"

The other day the word flux showed up in my head while talking about how fast the world seems to be changing and the increasing challenges that are appearing in so many people's lives. I figured it was time to read the actual definition of flux. 1) flow 2) rate of flow 3) a continuous movement or change.

I pick Door Number 3! Yup, continuous change can sure provide the opportunity for a person to think they are going insane. We are in flux like we have never been in flux before (well, I've read that we have been here before but "we" in our bodies of today have not.)

It would be nice if we could put on the brakes and take a breather, but that is not going to happen and we'd only want to take another break, and another. We must learn to be in flow with the flux!

You can be in a state of flux, call it bad, and make yourself crazy. Or you can learn to be in flow with the flux and enjoy the ride. You can't stop the universe, or the new energies that are affecting us on all levels. You can't change congress in a day, or bring peace to the world in an hour. You can flow with the changes and bring peace to yourself now.

I know, all the teachers are telling you to accept change, embrace change, practice change - and they are absolutely right. But how? Breathe, deeply. Know that you are at choice - you can let go instead of fight the flux. My therapist (Chinese medicine) told me my hip problem was because I was being pulled in too many directions. Allowing would be more accurate. What else was I to do but twist and turn to keep all the balls in the air - flux adding more balls all the time?

Well, I identified which balls must be managed in this moment and let the others drop. Let me tell you there were some people who were not happy with this decision. Later, when I was more balanced and the stabbing in my hip went away, I went to pick up the balls I had dropped and, lo and behold, they were gone! Of course, new balls are always coming my way via flux - some I grab onto, some I let go by.

As my hip healed, I rested. Breathe and rest. Some mornings I'd wake up in a sour mood, with no reason for it (ever happen to you?). I'd spend the entire morning psycho-analysing myself! What's up with me? Is there a buried issue coming up? Did a dark entity enter my house?

When I got to the Higher Self Bookstore, a psychic might say "did you feel that energy shift?", or an astrologer would tell me we just entered mercury retrograde or this planet just entered that other planet's orbit - did I feel it? So, I had spent my precious morning looking for what was wrong with me when all that happened was a shift in energy. I don't do that anymore.

Breathe, rest, and choose what you want to pay attention to. Flux in itself is not good or bad. Avoid judging the flux! In her frustration, Brenda made flux a bad thing. Flux is flux, flux is flow, it is what it is. You can't fight it, so flow with it. Here's a little something that came to me this morning that helps in discerning good and bad:

There was a little girl, who had a little curl - right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was doing what she should -
And when she was bad she was awesome!

Integrity and Following the Rules

2011-02-02T12:20:00.008-05:00

Rules were created to establish order, am I right? Without rules - chaos! If a rule, or law, no longer supports order then steps should be taken to change or cancel it. However, until that is established, the rule should still be followed. You know, status quo and all that.

I have a confession to make - I'm a rule follower. At the same time, I'm the first one to declare, "Challenge Authority!" I have not been practicing what I preach, and I am waking up to the fact that the rules are just not keeping up with the fast-paced changes that are occurring.

Somehow, I had incorporated "following the rules" into my interpretation of integrity, and a woman of integrity is who I have chosen to "Be." By this, what I mean is, I stand by my word. If I say it, I will do it. My word is my bond, you can count on me. Over the years, I have been more careful with my "word" and this practice has resulted in more balance in my life, not over committing my time, etc.

Of course, there have been times when I had to change my priorities and change my word. As an example, just in the last 24 hours, I agonized about traveling home today as I had said I would. A blizzard has just passed through this region and it is still snowing. I know I could get on the road and make it back to Traverse City, Michigan, today - driving slowly, and carefully, and watchfully of other drivers on the snow-covered, icy-in-places, I-75 North. Tomorrow it will be sunny. One would think this would be an easy decision, but for me it was not.

I recognize that I have become attached to this identity, a woman of integrity. I follow the rules, even to the detriment of my well-being, the well-being of my family, and of my business. Some of the agreements I entered into years ago did not take into account the changes that have occurred, neither by me or the authority I gave my power away to. The authority (the companies and people I gave my word to, either verbal or under contract) insist I keep my word. What to do?

First, I detach from the unfair limitation I placed on myself - the strictly defined and restricting label of integrity = rule follower. Second, I will assess what the truth is. What was true then is not always true today, so I will not proceed blindly into this is the way it's always been done so do your duty or else. Third, I willingly step out of the box (in this case the box is about always following the rules) and see just what can be done for the highest good of all with harm to none (which includes me!)

It amazes me that it always come down to the same lesson no matter the challenge, the issue, or the situation: Notice, awaken, detach (let go), step out of the box, and let the how show up as I take action.

It's okay to change my rules when the game has changed. It's okay to keep my word and I will, and I will allow for amendments and addendums - for the highest good of all (me included).

Be Happy - Write It Down!

2010-12-31T08:24:00.006-05:00

I'm sure there is a lot of blogging going on about the New Year and resolutions and setting goals. Well, I have just one recommendation for you. Make Being Happy your goal. Then write it down - everywhere!

You are saying, "Silly Ricki, of course being happy is my goal! It's always my goal! That's the purpose of being human, to be happy."

Ah, I say, but do you remember? Do you wake up each and every morning and say to yourself, "Today I will Be Happy!" I bet you don't. I know, because I don't. And you are me and I am you and so on and so on.

This past year has presented many challenges and lessens, and I am not alone. There were at least two months straight when I forgot that being happy was my mission. It wasn't written down anywhere and I was so immersed in the drama, in the pit, that I'm not even sure if I would have seen a smiley face sticker I would have recognized it. But I might have.

So here's my plan, and I am Happy to share it with you. I will write Be Happy as my Number One goal for 2011. I will outline an emergency plan for getting Happy when stuff happens, such as: Watch a comedy (America's Funniest Home Videos is my favorite for making myself laugh), Dance like nobody's watching, Take a walk and Big Smile everyone I meet, and Make funny faces in the mirror.

Then, I am going to write "Be Happy" on every page of every calendar and day planner and every To Do List. I'm going to write "Be Happy" on post-its and place them all over the house and in my office at the Higher Self Bookstore. In the bathroom, I'll stick a note on the mirror that says "How Ya Doing, Sweetie?" (That one always makes me smile!)

Okay, I hear you, and I know that some days it just feels too hard. Then the goal that day will be to feel better. Just better. Then work up to feeling pretty good. Draw a smiley face on your hand - next thing you know your face is smiley, too!

Just imagine if everyone took on the goal/mission/purpose of Be Happy. What a way to serve humanity! You know that when you are around Happy people it is hard to resist being Happy, too. Get Happy, Be Happy, then go out and Happy-Up the World! What can possibly be better than that?

Danger! Danger! Danger!

2010-11-30T15:02:00.008-05:00

I have often commented that I wanted to write a book on the dangers of personal growth. Really, there should be warnings before inquiring about oneself and the possibilities of being more. One of the chapters would be about how the people in your life will change -NOT.

When you wake up, even the least little bit, you will notice how the people around you are not the people they used to be. Especially the people close to you. Somehow they are different and you don’t recognize them as you used to. Of course, they didn’t change – you did.

When you were sleeping, you daydreamed how people were – usually the way you wanted them to be. Or expected them to be. Unconsciously, you decided what to see and what to be blind to.

I took a trip not too long ago with some people I used to travel with to Las Vegas. I’d been there with them before and had a good time. Once I got there it was like I didn’t know these people at all! These were acquaintances from my sleepwalking days.

I found myself switching back and forth between judging and being in fascination as fast as I could blink my eyes! I kept asking myself questions, like “Were they always like this?” “Did they always talk like this?” “Was I like this, am I still like this?”

Answering myself, I said, yes, they are the same as they always were. One man in particular, my host, spurred my own soul searching the most. In our past, I had been quite impressed with his self-confidence, how he carried himself, how he seemed to make others take notice of him, that he was free with his money. My dream man!

The man in my wakened state was not so confident after all. In fact, it appeared to me that he tried to raise his self-esteem, make himself more important, by making himself big, and others small. I know he did not know, was not aware, that he was doing this. And I knew he did not want to know – not at this time or in this place.

He hadn’t changed. I had. My choice to become aware, to wake up to who I am and who I want to be has taken me down a path, a path I chose consciously. I encouraged others to come with me. I had encouraged him to come with me when I first started out. I thought he had tagged along, for a little ways, at least.

Not everyone you know and love will choose to walk the path with you. It’s okay, they are already on a path of their own choosing, and they just may not know it. Some will try to keep you from going down a path you chose, may even reach out to pull you back, because they know their life will change if you go. But you can never go back. Once you wake up, even a little, that part of you can never be put back to sleep again.

A personal growth trainer I worked with would get down sometimes after giving a three-hour free introductory course. She would be discouraged that people hadn’t signed up to continue the training, and she would feel sad that they apparently chose to not make a change, to not wake up. I would reminder her that each and every one of them had indeed made a change, had awakened – it was impossible not to, unless they had literally snored through the entire three-hour training. They knew too much now to ever be the same again.

Even your reading this now is an inquiry of your own to know more, to experience more, to be opened and awakened to new possibilities. And you will never be quite the same as you were.

The dangers of personal growth: You will change. Others may leave you, you may leave others. You will love and bless them, as I love and bless those from the Vegas trip.

The dangers of not seeking personal growth: You will change. Others may leave you, you may leave others. You will stay asleep and life will happen to you.

The good news is, when you seek to grow you will change purposefully. You will take your power back from wherever or whomever you gave it to. Be grateful that it was taken care of while you slept.

People may leave, but there are people just waiting to welcome you into your wakefulness.

I meet others on the path I chose and I keep their company. It is important for me to have their support, faith, and encouragement. There are hands out there reaching even now to pull me back, put me in the cubbyhole they think I should be in. I hold on tight to the hands that won’t let me go that gently push me forward.

There are dangers in personal growth. You will never be the same and you can never to back. Ah, but the rewards are eternal!

Meaning of Life

2010-11-01T09:59:00.007-04:00

Meaning of Life
by Ricki Blanchard

On the day I was born
I was given one canvas
And an endless supply of paints
In every hue imaginable.

“What shall I paint?” I asked.
“The Meaning of Life,” was the answer.

So I began to create
With quite elementary strokes.
As time went by, my pictorials
Became more elaborate and sophisticated.

I possessed a free hand early on.
But then I painted what others
Thought I should, or what I
Thought others wanted to see.

Layer upon layer, pictures and
Landscapes, always changing
Sometimes retro or repetitive
On my one and only canvas.

More than once I colored
Over a scene still wet
To obliterate what was there
Making a total mess of it all.

My paints would become
Disorganized and scattered
Needing patience to pull them together
into a workable palette.

How this old canvas can withstand
The many coats of my imaginings
Are beyond my understanding,
But hold it all, it does.

You see, the Meaning of Life
Is exactly how I see it when I see it
Carefully or carelessly brushed
On my one and only canvas.

The canvas itself is meaningless.
All that is and No-thing at all.
A surface on which to illustrate
My illusions, ever-changing.

Of late, I find my paintings
More unique, less detailed
Vibrant and soft at the same time.
Always ready to be the one and only canvas
for a new view.

Rainy Days and Feeling Good

2010-09-29T09:38:00.008-04:00

What’s so bad about feeling bad was the topic of a couple of my blogs this year. Today, I am contemplating what’s so bad about feeling good? For instance, you notice people at a funeral who are smiling and laughing – do you judge them as uncaring, uncompassionate? After a hurricane, you expect the survivors on the TV news to be morose and devastated – what would you think if they were laughing and joking?

I was thinking about what the future might hold for this earth, some of the possibilities being that the landscape and the weather may change quite significantly. Oh no, you cry, do not go there! You will attract the end of the world! But wait, I am not “feeling” the energy of judgments, such as awful, devastating, fearful, woeful, panic, anger, etc. There is no energy behind my thoughts whatsoever.

We are told by many that we attract to us what we think. I don’t believe this is entirely complete in the teaching. I think it is the energy behind the thought that activates the magnet, drawing that which we have energy on to show up in our lives. If I am in a neutral, contemplative state, then it makes sense to me that the Universe will also be in that state. Only until I add energy and emotion, and of course action, that the Universe starts to move. Does this make sense? It is becoming clearer to me, but then again, it’s my mind and my reality.

So, let’s look at feeling good and possibilities of the future and feeling good in that moment which is the next now. Definitely, I know that I want to focus on the moment of now and feeling good in the now. While in the now, I can think about the future in a very neutral place. To get clearer, I read and listen, go to classes and participate in discussions. I decide what makes sense and what doesn’t, what rings true for me and what I choose not to pay the slightest bit of attention to. Then, I assimilate that information into my now.

Now, sitting in the now and knowing in the now that I want to feel good in this now and the next now, I decide how to be and what actions I will take to be that and feel good in the now and in the next now. For instance, today I decide to BE strong. So I will focus on making my mind, body and spirit strong through exercises of meditating, reading, walking, yoga, etc. As I become stronger and stronger, I am supported in being strong in the next now, and supported in feeling good in the next now.

In the next now which becomes the present now, let’s say that the rains come. Did I create the rain? Me and millions of others, in present and past lifetimes, before we woke up, unless we didn’t, but we are talking hypothetically today. Through my present moment exercises, I am stronger, and I am grateful for that, and this supports me in feeling good in this place of a very, very rainy present now. It is okay to feel good, even though others may be adding mournful tears to the waters.

We get in our own way sometimes, over thinking, over guessing, over fearing. In my present now, as I BE strong, I also help others to BE strong…or BE compassionate, or BE wise – we can BE many ways in one present now. That is my mission and the mission of the Higher Self Bookstore – as it is the mission of many individuals, groups, and establishments. To support you in your personal and spiritual growth, to offer opportunities for knowledge and clarity.

For me, I choose to be in the present moment, focused on feeling good, and in preparation for the next now moment of feeling good, no matter what.

"I Know Your Mama Taught You Better"

2010-09-01T08:31:00.006-04:00

I stepped in gum in the parking lot. It was the second time this summer. Instead of reflecting on the esoteric symbolism of these events in my life, my thought was immediate: "I know your mama taught you better than this!" I mean, really - what mother would teach her child to spit out gum in a parking lot?

It reminded me of a time, years ago, when I lived in Port Huron, Michigan, on my way north to a destination I can't recall. I was in the car behind a convertible with two young men sitting in it. As we were waiting for the light to change, the passenger dude reached out and dropped a large bag of Burger King waste on the ground! I had the opportunity to pull up next to him and said, "I know your mama taught you better than that!" He laughed, said something about mothers, and they drove on. We were heading in the same direction and I followed them for miles, strategizing how I would teach them a lesson (I didn't know about karma then).

They eventually pulled into a party store/gas station. Here was my chance! I would go dump one of the trash cans right into their convertible! Yes, that would teach'em!

No, I chickened out. My fear of legal repercussions, or respect for convertibles, won out but I have regretted not taking that action ever since.

Did their mothers not teach them about littering? Of course they did! As did the schools and anyone else who had their attention for a split second. Then why do we so quickly want to blame a parent for a person's misbehavior? More importantly, why do we blame ourselves as parents for the misbehavior of our own children?

If I recall correctly, I did teach my child to only spit gum into a waste receptacle (or my hand) and not to litter, and explained that it was inconsiderate to others and the environment. She did it anyway and reaped my wrath if I happened to catch her at it). Did she stop doing these things through fear of my anger? Or, did she step in gum and have an AHA moment? I can't know for sure.

I know I am not alone in my private thoughts as a mother: Did I do it right? Did I do it wrong? Could I have done it differently? The answer will always be yes, so I don't waste as much time on these particular meditations as I used to. I did my best, and I do better all the time. The kid will truly learn her lessons her way, no matter how much I'd like it to be my way.

So, to the gum-spitters, because I love you, "May you step in gum until you don't anymore."

I "C" You!

2010-07-31T13:37:00.009-04:00

Conflict, crises, confusion, catastrophes, calamities, and change. We are all in a C (sea) of amazing and fascinating upheaval! I don't know anyone who isn't at best-juggling the present events in their lives, or at worst - appearing to be drowning in the events that seem to be just happening to them.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just go back to how it used to be. Never mind that we were complaining and unhappy with the events we didn't prefer happening to us, it just seemed to be at a little slower pace, it was easier to handle, and we survived doing what needed to be done. In other words, we have selective memories about the past.

Well, it's not going to happen. We are all in full speed ahead! The lessons we were taking our good ol' sweet time about learning have run out of patience with us, time has sped up, and it is now or never.

By we and us, I mean you and me and humanity. We can't go back and our future depends on our addressing the onslaught of the "C's" with a new spirit, a new attitude, a new way of surrendering, and a willingness to grow. Now, not later.

Kinda heavy stuff for Ricki to be writing, you are saying to yourself right now. I can hear you. Don't try to deny it. Well, heavy is a perception and if you read backwards you will note I started out saying "amazing" and "fascinating." You can gloom and doom it, but it really isn't necessary.

If you are trying to get back to the comforts of home, so to speak, you will struggle and you will be disappointed. "C"hange is your saving grace right now. Embrace it. Practice change everyday, intentionally. That way you are already in the flow for that next "C" that shows up for you.

Make friends with some different "C's", like courage, consideration, compassion, curiosity, caring, calm, cooperation, and commitment. Your shift in perception alone could change some of those terrible (perception word) "C's" into terrific (also a perception word) "C's".

This is not a "oh, I'll start it tomorrow" exercise. The time is now. Now is the only time. You will play in the sea of "C's" now, or struggle in the sea of "C's" now. You get to "C"hoose!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2010-07-03T09:17:00.009-04:00

Yes, ten years ago on July 7, I will celebrate ten years as the caretaker of the Higher Self Bookstore in Traverse City, Michigan. In August of 2000, another new beginning was happening - the first publication of Healing Garden Journal. I wrote the following article for their September issue. I have edited it slightly, but this is it's first re-posting since that time. For some reason, it did not get into Ricki Writes archive on the Higher Self web site. Another coincidense?

This is a story about how I came to be here, and how I feel about the Higher Self to this very day. Enjoy, and thank you, from the fullness of my heart. Without you, this dream could not continue.
(this is my PR pic taken in 2000)

Why Here? Why Me?
by Ricki Blanchard - August 2000

Almost four years ago, I stepped into the Higher Self Bookstore and said to myself, "I'd like to do something like this someday." There were books everywhere (I love to read), some I've read, and some on subjects I'd never heard of. Jewelry in shapes and symbols that held my attention. Items for rituals, psychic and inner-exploration, most quite foreign to me. I wanted to hang around, but a long drive back to Downriver Detroit awaited me.

I was in the area to attend a personal growth course in Northport. Five years ago I associated personal growth with college courses and business seminars. I was introduced to a course based on the concept that 'what you believe creates your life'. It change my life and opened me up to infinite possibilities.

Just dreaming, a friend and I imagined creating an entity like the Higher Self in the Downriver Detroit area. I also mentioned having a bookstore someday to my daughter, Anna, who took it all quite seriously. She didn't want the dream, she wanted the reality - and she wanted it now. I could not see how this was possible. She started making signs for the door of the bookstore we would have - someday.

I left the corporate world and assisted in introducing the Lifeskills training to others. I helped form a company around this curriculum and learned much of what it takes to start and build a small business. Many people have taken the Lifeskills courses, and their awakening was my main reward.

While Anna and debated over gourmet coffee or a tea room in our store, other investment opportunities came my way. Though I was still in debt from the launching of Access I Education, I did not let these get away.

Last October, I asked my women's group who wanted to invest in a bookstore with me. They all raised their hands. Many voices joined in the store conversation. Anna started researching where to find investment money.

In February, during a reading, a psychic asked me when I was moving? "Oh," I said, "I couldn't for a couple years yet. She said it would be sooner.

In April a friend showed me the ad in the Phenomenews magazine about the Higher Self Bookstore being for sale. Yes, the store I wanted to emulate was available! The Universe was giving what I had asked for, and I dared not say "But God, I'm not ready!", though this was my first thought. I had no idea how to do this, but I trusted that as I took the steps, the what and the who I needed would show up. And so it was.

I called the broker for information; I called a friend who handles mortgages who called a friend who was expert in business properties; I got advise from a friend who owned a franchise; I talked to everyone I knew, made lists of questions and got the answers. I traveled to Traverse City with my sister, Cindy, an accountant. I introduced myself via telephone to the owner, Kathleen Campbell, letting her know about the synchronicities that had occurred. It was like talking to an old friend.

Now, I had arranged for the sale of my condo, but where was the rest of the money going to come from? I went to my women's group and said, "This is real! Who's in?" No hands this time. During the discussions that followed, my cousin, Carol, turned to me and said, "How much did you say you had in your retirement account? Ricki, you have the money. You can do this yourself!" I did and I could. Less than a year ago, my broker had gotten me into internet stocks at just the right time. The money was there. Coincidence?

So, I discreated the belief that one shouldn't touch their retirement account. My offer was accepted! Kathleen worked with me to put all the details in place. Utilities, insurance, lease agreements, telephone and credit card services, bank accounts, rubber stamps, waste disposal, and on and on. We closed on July 7, 2000.

In two months time, my whole life had changed. I understand about thoughts being energy, and speech making it stronger, and like matter (energy) joining like matter and eventual manifestation. I understand it, I just don't explain it so good. The store was more evidence for me that my beliefs, along with my commitment and action that supports them, do create my life, the life I want when I'm intentional.

Why this particular store? This is more than a store. This place has to be experienced. Whenever I enter it, and others have told me they feel the same way, I immediately have a sense of peace, a certain calmness. At the same time, there's an energy that lifts me up and promises happiness, excitement, and joy.

I want people to come here, take their shoes off, stay awhile, get grounded - or get high, naturally. This place is here to support all forms of enlightenment and transformation. No matter what belief system, or no belief system, and no matter if a person is just starting to explore or has been on the path a long, long time, the Higher Self will provide the tools, books, ritual supplies, and symbolic reminders for whatever helps a person get in touch and stay in touch with their spirit. The store also supports natural healing, body work, and other therapies for healthy body-mind-spirit connections. Healers/readers are here everyday and walk-ins are welcome, though appointments are recommended. Classes and workshops are being scheduled for evenings and weekends.

I feel as if I was welcomed into the store and the community with loving, open arms. My goal is that everyone who enters the store experiences this same feeling. Come see. Come feel. I am so glad to be here, and promise to take good care of this Higher Self.

Circumstantial Evidence

2010-06-01T15:45:00.004-04:00

I think I fell asleep a couple weeks last month. Reminded me of this article, slightly edited and abridged, found in whole at www.higherselfbookstore.com. I hope you like this share:

Circumstantial Evidence (from the Archives - abridged)
by Ricki Blanchard

When I was little, my grandmother gave my cousin and me identical dresses – except hers was pink and mine was blue. My cousin was pretty and petite, with tiny features and long, dark hair she could wear in banana curls. I, on the other hand, was a little chunky with hair that waved in all the wrong places. My mother once described me as "handsome." At four years old, I knew that pretty little girls wore pink. So what do you think I decided to believe when I didn't get the pink dress? I was not pretty enough. "Not" and "enough" being the operative words here.

Of course, I did not go around for the next fifty years telling people I was not pretty enough for pink. What I did do was forget that I made up that belief at four years old. I forgot it, then I forgot that I had forgotten it. I did, however, let the belief manifest itself in various and wondrous ways.

If you don't believe me, well... I have evidence that I was “Not enough!” I came in second place in the handwriting contest in fourth grade. I came in third in the drawing contest in fifth grade. I was co–captain of the majorettes in ninth. I was co–editor of the high school newspaper. I was tied for the best looking four–eyes my senior year. I was second chair in the flute section, then I was put on probation as a music major in college. I was the second woman my ex–husband proposed to and wore those secondhand rings.

Get the picture? Then you can understand how I created the belief over the years that someone else could do it better, and I should let them. I forgot that I made up that belief as well. And yes, I have evidence that that belief didn't just go away either. I left my husband because he deserved someone who wasn't angry all the time. I let other people take care of my daughter whenever possible, eventually letting her go live with her father and his new family. Promotions went to the better qualified. I hung out with married men who never did leave their "better" half.

When it was suggested to me that I created my life, I was flabbergasted. If this were true, why on earth would I create this particular life for myself? Because my beliefs create my life, even those I had forgotten. And, the human brain would rather be right than happy!

What if I was enough? What if I got the blue dress instead of pink because blue was my grandmother's favorite color? What if grandma wrapped the dresses and didn't even remember which dress was in which box when she handed one to each of us? What if pink just wasn't available in my size? No, I created "not pretty enough" and got to say, "See, I'm right!" all over the place.

I had given the incident meaning, and then I drew from my past to give meaning to the events that followed. Not consciously, not intentionally. Kind of like sleepwalking.

We humans are meaning–making machines. We give meaning to everything – what it means to be successful, what it means to have money (or not to have money), to be a woman, a man, to be single, married, old, young – everything! Those meanings, those beliefs, create what we experience and how we perceive. They create our reality, what's true for us, inside and out. What it means to get pink roses instead of red. What it means to get a blue dress instead of a pink one.

Yes, I bless the day someone was kind enough to give me a shake and offer me a new concept to play with. I continue to explore and learn and experience myself as the creator of my life. I read and ask questions, but mostly I have sought out and participated in courses that let me really experience just how I do it, so I can go out and do it on purpose. And I am committed to offering others a gentle shake and a new idea to try on.

Today, I am pretty when I choose, handsome when I choose, and beautiful – just as I have always been – all the time. The woman I am today still prefers to wear black. The little girl in me loves to cuddle up at night in her new pink robe. I am accepting of others and enjoy the wonders of who they are, not who I think they should be. I am accepting of myself and recognize that I am an awesome, powerful creator – even when I've dozed off and created something I didn't prefer.

I invite you all to explore, ask questions, challenge indoctrination, and wake up others along the way.

What's So Bad About Feeling Bad, Part Two

2010-05-01T09:13:00.003-04:00

Now, I did not plan to practice what I preach. I did not intend to sit around feeling bad. I did not set out to prove a point, to you or to myself. This "Part Two" was not on a list of things I'd like to write about in the future. But I must admit, I spent a good portion of this past month in and around feeling bad. I think because in some way, it felt good.

What prompted me to write more on this subject was references in my recent reality about the Dark Side, Shadow Work, and going through hell to get to heaven. Yes! That's it!

I spent much of April being in a low place, like a "shadowland", sitting and waiting for "what next?" Like watching a soap opera and becoming addicted, rushing home at the end of the day (if I bothered to leave the house, that is) to sit on the couch and wait and watch. Then I participated in the reviews and ratings. There has been a whole lot of drama at my house lately, and I got caught up in it (yes, I knew I shouldn't but I did anyway).

I even tried to direct some of the scenes myself, suggesting more enlightened alternatives to the scripts being played out. I discovered that I really have very little influence from the low place I was in. It's about vibration, vibration, vibration!

That was an aha moment, but that's not the only one. I learned the subtleness of drama, drama I had never recognized before - very sneaky stuff! I woke up and noticed where I was and what I was up to. Then decided to stay a couple days longer because it really was quite fascinating to me! I opened up, sat up, took notes, and was able to get many aha moments: remembering who I am, remembering that I CAN consciously create my day and not just sit and see what my unconscious brings to me -surprises not of my preference, one right after the other. More, much more - glad I visited hell to get to heaven.

I had had a type of Dark Night, walked through my own hell, dwelled in the shadowland of low vibration. I do believe I came out Lighter than when I went in. There are many books and resources about the "Shadow" and getting to know our shadow-selves will serve us by helping us recognize the shadow, love the shadow, but not let the shadow lead and repeat the patterns that limit us.

About a week ago I intentionally started to raise my vibration. I let people around me know that that was what I was up to so they could write me out of their drama scripts. And I invited those people to come along! There are enough soap opera stars in the world and we don't have to be one of them.

By one ticket to Shadowland, get two tickets to Paradise! Free! Thanks for reading.

What's So Bad About Feeling Bad?

2010-03-31T13:15:00.003-04:00

What is so bad about feeling bad? This question popped into my head while deep in discussion about why we do the things we do to avoid feeling bad. Think about it! Think about all the instant gratification stuff we do to avoid feeling bad: eating, drinking, sexing, drugging, watching TV or other zone-out screen watching (games, computer), spend too much money. Feel bad, do this feel better - for just a little while, then do it again.

And that is just what we do for ourselves. Think about all we do so that the others around us will not feel bad: lie, cook, pour, lend, look the other way, gift. All just so that we feel better, that we have some peace.

But look at all the opportunities we missed just because we didn't take the time to listen and understand the "bad" feeling to begin with. Fix it fast - with a bandaid. Poke your finger into the bleeding hole, and don't move! How often have we interrupted someone else's "aha" moment by handing them a tissue, a chocolate, keys to the car?

I'm sure I have missed out on some awesome breakthroughs, for myself and others, by making the bad feeling bad and trying to put the fix to it immediately. What is so bad about feeling bad? Not a thing. Not one little thing.

So use it. Take the opportunity to have a little chat with yourself next time you have a feeling you call bad. It just may be the "big" one you've been waiting for, the aha of all ahas! I'm certainly going to be with the next bad feeling long enough to get clear on it before taking any action, if any action is required. More importantly, I am no longer going to help someone avoid the bad just so I can feel good.

This will not be easy, but I do not feel "bad" about that in the least!

To Get Out Of It You Must Be In It!

2010-02-27T10:05:00.004-05:00

I have started walking, usually in the mornings. I know, I thought an alien had possessed my body as well - the jury is still out. Anyway, I'm up to about two miles in 45 minutes. Yes! This is good.

A couple mornings ago, after wrapping myself up in coat, scarf, hat and gloves, I started out and immediately noticed just how cold it was. I've been walking in the cold (I am in Northern Michigan you know!), but today the wind was up and I was very tempted to turn around and take off all the layers (why I haven't bought long johns yet is a mystery), and put in a Jane Fonda video.

But I kept moving forward. My mind started playing with the possibilities of getting what I wanted in a shorter period of time so I could get out (of the cold!). I don't run. A couple years ago my sister and I ran across a parking lot to see if we could run because it had been so long since we did. We could, we were happy about that, and we stopped. A week or so ago I had to run across Garfield to get to the track - it wasn't awful. Last weekend end my sister was walking with me and suggested a short jog - 30 seconds. I made it 20 seconds. It wasn't awful.

So, hey, why don't I try mixing up the walking with a little jogging.....must be the alien speaking again. I'm saying: What? You know I don't run! It will hurt! I'll fall down! I'll break something! and so on and so on.

The alien possessing my body kept me walking, then jogging for 30 seconds, then walking, then jogging. On flat planes and inclines. As I was adjusting to this new "can do" I started thinking of other situations where I would like to "get out of it" and how changing what I did could provide the same effect, reap the same rewards, in less time. Wow, the possibiities!

I had to be "in it" to see a new way "out." I needed the challenge to be immediate, in this case anyway. I suppose one can look at it from a distance and analyse and come of with possible solutions. But I'm guessing the best ideas come from being "in it" or having been "in it" and never wanting to go there again.

So, I got a good work out and shaved off about 15-20 minutes (I always forget to check the clock before I head out). I just may try it again! I could still use some long johns - and a good sports bra.

The Latest "Cuss" Word

2009-12-30T20:04:00.007-05:00

This is my holiday gift for you, wishing you a wonderful, prosperous 2010! Someone asked me to think of the perfect gift I'd like to receive and my response was "that one thing that keeps me from manifesting, experiencing, allowing and receiving prosperity into my life."

So, how can I give this to you? I'm not sure but I do have an observation that just may be the trick for some of you. I know the application of this gift is already making a difference in my state of affluence.

For the last couple months I have been noticing the phrase "I can't afford it", being used by myself, my employees, customers, friends and family. It became like a red flag, demanding I pay attention.

Some people said "I can't afford (something)" in order to shut someone up. You know, the "Hi, how are you?" "Fine." - end of conversation conversation. Many times when I heard the "I can't afford....." I just knew it wasn't the truth, whether the speaker recognized they were lying or not.

And way too often it was just what it was...a belief that it just wasn't possible, a conversation about lack. Especially now with all this talk about the economy and bad times. Listen closely and you can hear a choir of "can't afford" at any time across the country.

I have decided that this should be considered the newest, latest "cuss" word/phrase, that a penalty should be paid for each utterance. I have given some of my friends the equivalent of "cuss boxes" for their quarters, dollars, whatever they choose, and asked them to spread the word.

Because...this particular phrase of lack is totally dis empowering. At the very best, it is a bad habit, complete with negative energy and low vibration. We need to eliminate it and replace it with empowering, vibration raising affirmations.

Now, exactly what kind of affirmations to use have eluded me until recently. The problem with affirmations are unless they have even a slight chance of being true for you, they are empty words and will not fill the void created by NOT saying that phrase of lack.

So I have this suggestion instead: talk about what you are choosing to do with excitement and passion. For instance, instead of saying I can't afford (that something), say with enthusiasm something like "oh, I just love it, but I am so close to saving for (name it), or so close to paying off that credit card and being debt free!!! Yeah!!!

Get the idea? Be excited about your goals and your progress, not down about stuff you choose not to have just at this time. Do not buy into the victim hood community, avoid the woe is me sayers, the we are family in doom and gloom.

Just imagine for a moment everyone being excited about tomorrow and its possibilities, as a choir, at any time. What a difference - and how could the Universe possibility say no?

Have a Happy, Prosperous New Year!

Deserving vs Earning

2009-11-30T12:50:00.004-05:00

This may be a little deep for the Holidays, but I think it's an excellent time to do some soul-searching. If we can find some gunk that tends to block our holiday good cheer, and get rid of it - all the merrier!

Okay, so I'm still looking into this internal/external thing which, for me, tends to take me in circles until I get to the core. So hang in there with me, please.

We often read/hear that in order to manifest we must believe we are deserving. Now, I can justify why I deserve something. Say I want to manifest a raise in pay. Do I believe I deserve a raise in pay? Well, of course! I earned it! Just look at all the great things I've done for this company! Oh my gosh, they probably don't deserve me! So why isn't a raise in my reality?

Using justification for deserving is an ego trap! It does not raise my vibration to the level of the "raise" I want! It can get me started toward a feeling good vibration, but I must be careful not to take it into an anger or victim-hood low vibration. It is best to feel deserving without the need for justification. Deserving - internal, justification - external.

When and how does one separate deserving and earning? Do you deserve or earn respect? Do you earn or deserve a camera? You may deserve to be trusted, but if you have abused that trust with someone, you may need to earn that trust back. Earning is a doing thing, an external thing. Deserving is internal - a feeling thing, a way of being.

So, in order to manifest, there must be the internal and external. Deserving (internal feeling) and earning (the external action) through speaking, doing, writing, taking the steps toward the goal. They can actually feed each other toward creation! I raise my vibration as I take action, and my increased vibration makes action more focused and, dare I say, pleasurable! Which helps me feel better still!

So, now, is naughty or nice an internal or an external? And do we give gifts based on deserving or earning/justification? Oh, this puzzle is too big for one sitting. Puzzles have always been one of my favorite things to do this time of year....but I usually have help!

Your comments are most welcome and appreciated! Oh, and thank you for passing this forward!

Love and Light and Happy Holidays!

Stream of Thought

2009-10-29T08:37:00.006-04:00

I began preparing (in my mind) to write about expectations. Recently reading a great blog by my friend Jennifer Tavana, I had some ideas I wanted to record for you. Mostly about being attached to outcomes in the business of manifestation. Then I started thinking about all the different ways of manifesting there are out there, published and promoted by various well-known and not so well-known authors and teachers.

My mind proceeded to how people are still bad-mouthing the DVD "The Secret" and how I thought this was quite unfair since The Secret actually has all the elements of manifestation in it if one is paying very close attention. Often people are leaving one or more key parts out of the practice.

Then I started thinking about what those parts were, like raising your vibration. What does that mean and how do you do that? Abraham-Hicks says "feel good." Simple, yes, but how?

This was followed by my review of how I manifested being in Traverse City, owner of the Higher Self Bookstore. How did I raise my vibration to make everything fall into place to perfectly? Well, I was excited, and scared - same energy in the body so I called it excited, maintained that excitement, and took steps to get answers to the questions that came up along the way.

Of course, I shifted to contemplating why it didn't seem so easy now, to manifest. I know more now, I have more knowledge about the business of retail and service, so I think I expect that I should have the answers already and try to force the outcome. Checking off all the things I've read and learned about manifestation, I find I keep forgetting a key part - high vibration, feeling good.

So what the heck am I going to write about today? Notice how your thought stream flows. We all do it. I started out in one direction (writing about expectations) and rounded back to how I should know this stuff already. What did I accomplish, what did I manifest here?

What comes to me is that focus was missing for me this morning. How about you? Did you notice lots of different thoughts flowing through your head as you read this? Did you get distracted at times, or confused, lose your place?

So here's your tip for the day, and days that follow. Practice focus. Like an experiment! See if your vibration raises a little (or a lot!), if drawing to you what you say you want happens just a little more easily (or a lot!). Let me know how it goes.

Oh, I'll write on these other topics in more detail later - when I'm more focused!

Resentment

2009-09-28T13:50:00.003-04:00

I finished reading The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand a couple weeks ago and have moved on, but the ideas from Ms. Rand's books still surface and lure me into contemplation. My latest musings have been about Mr. Rourke's (Fountainhead character)lack of resentment.

In being true to himself, his values and standards, his life was often unprofitable. He did not resent taking a job in a quarry in order to eat. He did not resent the lack of opportunities, nor did he resent those who bad-mouthed him. He lived for his passion and was patient. He never blamed anyone. He knew he had a gift, a genius, and waited humbly for the right person and the right opportunity to share that gift.

He loved his work, his creations, and was not resentful of those who did not see his creations the same as he did. He did not resent the critics - he didn't care. He just did not care what others thought of him or his different vision of building (he's an architect).

He refused to let his ideas be used and manipulated into something he didn't believe in. He was not resentful that this cost him jobs and gained himself a reputation of being selfish.

When I find myself being resentful, I immediately stop in my tracks to figure out why. I don't like the feeling at all, so I want to resolve the issue as soon as possible. Many times it is a judgment I'm holding I need to let go of. But more often, of late, it is a situation were I have let myself be used or manipulated. Where I had not been true to myself.

I am grateful for my resentment because I know it is a sign that one way or another I've given my power away. And, I look forward to the day I no longer feel resentment because I am always true to myself.

2009-09-02T11:23:00.003-04:00

I finished reading Atlas Shrugged (I had to resist starting again from the beginning) and I'm now in the middle of The Fountainhead, both by Ayn Rand. My mind is truly playing in Ms. Rand's philosophies, so I'm going to continue to explore - like the last blog.

For the most part, the heroes and heroines are so passionate in their beliefs, values, and standards in the pursuit of the work they love, that they don't care what other people think. Can you just imagine that for a minute?

I know that as I've gotten older, and this is true for many, I care less about what other people think of me. It is very freeing! I used to go to great lengths to make sure my hemlines were exact, that my bra wouldn't show no matter how I turned, and every hair was in place. Today I'm only upset if one pant leg is shorter than the other, I make sure my bra is close to the same color as my top, and I have wash-and-go hair that often looks a little on the wild side. I like that.

But let's take it up a notch. Would I risk social scorn in taking a stand for what I believe? Would I step up, instead of stand down, when public opinion is against me? Would I take a job I am against morally to keep the house, the car, the medical insurance?

How true would I be to myself if faced with real, physical hardships? What would you think of me if I wasn't? Would you give me excuses to believe so that I can face myself in the mirror? Would you be disappointed, hoping that I, at least, would be the one to show the world that one can be of the world but not in it? "Oh, but she's human..."

Can you be true to yourself? Think about the times you gave in, stepped down, gave up the dreams, handed your life over the someone else, or gave your power to a system that sucked you in, sucked you dry, then told you it was your fault.

I could go on, but I'll stop here for now. Heavy stuff, eh? I'm loving this exploration - even the scary parts. So, what would you do if you really, really didn't care what others thought? Who would you be?

Let's Get Philisophical

2009-08-03T08:00:00.006-04:00

Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand was published in 1957, and the philosophies are still discussed today in many circles. I had read it about ten years ago, after it sat on my shelf for about fifteen. For me it was an excellent read, though I struggled with much of the philosophy. I did take away the importance of self-love, self-respect, self-integrity, and self-value.

I've got about a hundred pages to go in this second read (it's over 1,100 pages of small print)and I don't understand all the points Ms. Rand is aspiring to make but I am getting much more out of it this time around.

Indoctrination is key throughout the story, and I think what I've chosen to believe as truth over the years is one reason I've tripped myself up in understanding Ms. Rand's views. Indoctrination can be defined as impressing on others something as true to obtain a particular behavior. These beliefs are accepted as "self-evident" by those who prefer to jump on board rather than think or do their own research.

Now, I know that I will not research every statement that comes my way, especially if it is of no concern to my immediate reality. But I am taking pause now to review some of the beliefs that I accepted because they "felt right", and shared them with others as truth, resulting in perpetuation of the indoctrination.

One of the key indoctrinations being challenged in Atlas Shrugged is the belief that the needy deserve to be considered and served first at all costs. My knee jerk is, of course, we are here to be of service. I am here to serve you. Being in service to others is noble and brings me closer to God. Where did these beliefs come from? And, are they true?

I provide a space called the Higher Self Bookstore providing access to books, goods and services to those who choose to explore, learn, and grow. I do my best to make sure the prices are fair, the quality is good, and the energy is positive. I love my "work." It is my responsibiity to keep the doors open.

Every day, without fail, I receive requests for donations. I feel guilty when I say no, and sometimes I feel resentful when I say yes. Where did these feelings come from? Is it that indoctrinated belief that I am my brother's keeper? What does that mean?

These are some of the questions I am asking myself as I try to understand Ayn Rand's philosophies. Some will read this and righteously proclaim me selfish to have such thoughts. Are we not here to explore and gain knowledge, especially about ourselves?

Imagine being absolutely sure in your beliefs, your purpose, your value. Imagine having the courage to change your own beliefs when new information is presented. Imagine a world of confident people who know their worth. Ah, what a feeling!

There is much to explore here so future blogs will include discussion as I ponder the philosophies of Ayn Rand. By the way, I have been feeling quite guilty about taking the time to read this book - when I could have been in working in order to serve others...now where did that come from?

More Baby Steps....

2009-05-29T13:18:00.003-04:00

Let's talk more about baby stepping. In the last post I talked about baby steps vs. leaps and how both work in getting you to your goals.

I learned about visualization about twenty years ago, listening to a Jack Canfield tape, I believe. Then I learned about dream boards and setting intentions in personal growth courses. I would practice what I'd learned and sometimes I manifested what I wanted, and sometimes I didn't.

And then we all watched "The Secret." It was a wonderful reminder and triggered me to do additional research. I recognized that I needed to raise my vibration during visualization. Oh, and to feel good! Okay, a little more success.

My thirst for knowledge brought me through two manifesting programs in the last couple years that added neurological adjustment techniques, goal setting, and doing affirmations correctly. So, I got my meditations, my affirmations, my vision board, my story of my masterpiece of a life that I read over and over and over. I keep my vibration up, my brain linked, my picture perfect.....

I forgot the baby steps. I'm trying to get from where I am to where I want to be in one leap. Of course the perfect man for me is on my vision board - smiles, walking together, dancing, hugging, growing old together. But here's the kicker. I forgot to visualize "meeting someone", then "a date", then a "second date."

And there's my perfect body on the dream board - riding a bike, hiking, doing fancy yoga twists. I forgot to visualize buying a bike and putting the present body on it, or walking this present body around the block, or enrolling in a yoga class. My baby steps are missing.

Now, the baby steps are probably listed in the plans as things "to do." And they are still on the "to do" list because - I'm focused on the big picture and I forget to look at the list of things "to do."

Baby stepping in visualization is about being. It's about letting the Universe know what you want to experience now (like, a date!), and allowing that manifestation. If I'm looking off into the future, I'm going to miss that wink from across the room.

So today, I'm breaking it all down in my my visualization. I'm even picking just two or three manifests instead of all twenty-five "I've arrived" future items on my board. Letting the Universe know I'm ready and willing to meet the man, allowing the perfect bicycle to show up, and choosing to feel good instead of overwhelmed. Ah, what a great day!

Baby Step vs Leap

2009-04-30T09:04:00.000-04:00

When my daughter (my constant teacher) decides she wants to change something, she usually takes baby steps to get there. One teenie action at a time. Now, for me, I'm the one standing back wondering why she doesn't Just Do It! Take the Leap! No, it's "baby steps, Mommy (she still calls me Mommy - she's 26), baby steps."

Recently I've stepped back to analyze this process versus the process that others choose, including myself. What prompted me was looking at the long list of things I wanted to change and accomplish and being overwhelmed with where to start. Baby Steps? Leap? Both?

It became clear to me that some things needed preparation (steps) before the leap. And some situations begged for a leap, then action in followup steps. For instance, you decide you want to sell your house. Now action must be taken to bring that manifestation to fruition - do you take baby steps or do you leap? If your neighbor and best friend lives next door, you can have her over for a glass of wine and ask her to bring over the appropriate documents along with a For Sale Sign out of her trunk. Leap. If not, it is best you use some discernment as you research and interview for an agent that is a match with you. Baby Step/Baby Step/Leap.

Or, you may take a look around and think that the house needs a lot of work before you can sell it. (read numerous baby steps here) Now, this is very workable as you hold the intention of selling in mind, but there is a danger. Focusing on the work instead of the intention, the goal.
If your intention is not clear, or you have a fear of succeeding, you could be taking baby steps indefinitely, going in circles, creating more and more Baby Steps to take to avoid taking that Leap!

There's really no right or wrong way to do this. It is all about what works best for you! Which way lights you up? Do you love to plan? Are you adding Baby Steps to avoid the Leap? Does the Leap thrill you, and you handle the steps later? Do what feels powerful.

What I know for sure, if it's too hard - I won't do it. That's when I practice Baby Steps. Unless, of course, I don't. That's when I take the Leap - just to get it done! If I need to learn before I jump in, Baby Steps. When I've taken all the Baby Steps I can, I'm at the edge, and I need a push - I ask for it.

As for my list, I've noted that there are some things on it that have been there for years. It's time I quit baby stepping and take the plunge - Just Do It! Here I go................

P.S. My daughter, Anna, just read this before I posted. She explained that, for her, it's like walking. She likes to make sure one foot is planted before taking the next step so she's remains - upright! Like, that step is established and secure, then moving on. And, "Mom," she said, "I have taken Leaps!" I said usually, honey, usually.

Unless - A Manifesting Mishap

2009-03-31T13:02:00.000-04:00

How does one say “Yes” to possibilities, and still be impeccable with ones word? How does one manifest purposefully and powerfully, yet not get attached to the results? I don’t think I can answer all these questions today, but I’ll keep you posted as I work it out.

Today I want to look at one way we self-sabotage our manifestations, our intentions and dreams, by the thoughts we have upon declaration of those desires. The unconscious or subconscious thoughts that confuse the Universe about what we really want.

One conversation:

I’m going to Sedona in October with my women’s group.
(unless they all back out)
I don’t have the money yet, but I know it’s coming.
(unless it doesn’t, or I have to pay bills with it, or the car breaks down)
I’m going to hike to the vortexes in the Red Rocks.
(unless I break my leg, or get sick)
I’m going to stay in a wonderful timeshare resort.
(unless there are none available and I have to stay in a dump)

I call this the “unless” conversation that usually happens in the subconscious, but you may notice the thoughts coming up for you if you are aware and truly listening to yourself talk to yourself. This establishes the limitations even before they have an opportunity to show themselves from the unconscious part of you.

Another conversation:

I’m going to Sedona in October with my women’s group! I am so excited!
I have the money! Not in my bank account, but I know I have it! I’m so grateful!
I’m going to hike to the vortexes! I’m getting in shape now and I feel great!
I’m staying in a wonderful timeshare resort with a pool, Jacuzzi, kitchen, comfortable beds, located close to everything I want to see and experience! This is going to be an awesome trip – I feel like I’m there already!

This is a much more powerful conversation. In this conversation, “unless” thoughts may surface, but I recognize them as my own creation and let them go; release them to allow my intended creation to become a reality. And, very importantly, I maintain a vibration of feeling good, being excited, and having the feelings of already being there. In this high vibration I visualize what it is a say I want. Then I take action.

So I ask you to notice what you think when you go for it, whatever “It” is! Do you have thoughts that begin with Unless, If, As Long As? How do you feel when you have these thoughts? What do you do once you are aware of these thoughts and feelings? Let me know and we’ll pick up this conversation then. Namaste’

I Yelled, and Lived

2009-03-07T09:38:00.000-05:00

I yelled at someone, and the earth did not crack open under my feet and swallow me up. I yelled, and lightning did not strike me dead from the heavens. I yelled, and no one got hurt, no one bled, no one got mad or declared revenge. I yelled, and I lived to tell you about it.

I don't yell. I rarely raise my voice. Well, except with my daughter but not so much now that she's grown. It's that indoctrinated thing about how a mom should be. Hard to break, even through enlightenment and knowledge that in most cases it is the ego wanting to manipulate the child into doing what the mother wants........whole other post.

In my younger (much younger) years, raising my voice was disrespectful, or so I was told. Projecting my voice would often be misinterpreted as hurtful and mean. I didn't understand it, but I did learned to control the tone, or keep my mouth shut. More often than not, I kept my mouth shut.

When I yelled and didn't die, I wasn't angry. I wanted to be heard. I had something to say, some new information that would change the direction of the current discussion, which was at the moment being conversed in raised voices. I was right, this time, and we all became more productive toward our goal, in a peaceful and loving manner.

So, when have you not yelled or raised your voice to be heard? Have you ever not raised your voice to say the one thing that could bring peace to the situation, because you believed that yelling or speaking loudly was not peaceful, loving, respectful, or may be detrimental to your current well-being - like being struck by lightning?

I yelled, and every day since my mind and my heart remind me that I yelled and lived to tell the story. This reminder nudges me to take a really good, deep look at this part of myself. And I wonder, where have I not yelled when yelling was exactly what was needed to be the catalyst toward peace?

And I now promise to raise a passionate voice, with love - sometimes called yelling.

Is It Me? Is It You? or Is It Memorex?

2009-02-17T14:01:00.000-05:00

Last week I had the opportunity to experience an extreme energy in my body for one full day and half the next. My mind wanted to label it anxiety attack, not knowing what else to call it. Looking at all that was going on in my world and the lives of many close to me, I could gather evidence to support this theory. I thought "maybe I'm being gifted with anxiety so I can have empathy with them."

Later, I thought "or, maybe I've been gifted empathy, which is causing me to experience the anxiety of those around me", thinking empathy was something I may have been lacking.

I did not like this feeling. I did not make it right or wrong, good or bad, I just stayed with it, flowed with it, was fascinated by it. In the safe place that is my Women's Empowerment Group, I powerfully spoke what was on my mind via email. Around the house, I kept my mouth shut, afraid of what might come out of it.

The next day I checked in with Daniele Devoe, reader/healer at the Higher Self. I asked her which interpretation was correct? She said - neither one! Daniele said I was experiencing a shift, an energetic/vibrational shift.

So, when have you made your feelings all about you, or all about them, when actually it was just - what it was? This time, it wasn't me, and it wasn't them, it just was what it was.

February - Where have all the resolutions gone?

2009-02-05T08:24:00.000-05:00

Typically, many resolutions have bit the dust, poofed into thin air, as if they never existed. But this is not true for us, is it? We know they are alive and just waiting for a little attention. Pick them up, dust them off and do a little review. Where are you in this intention? Maybe you made a little progress and forgot, or gave up - too hard.

Don't make it so hard! Baby-steps! Lay out a plan to help ensure that you can stick to it. If your dream, your intention, is big enough it is worth the journey. Don't let it go just because you became distracted or disapointed.

This is an excellent time to reflect: How many times have I attempted this and failed? Do I really want it? These questions will lead to more questions and give you the opportunity to dig a little deeper, uncover some old issues that need a good look, a touch, a thank you, and a toss out the door.

We often don't truly recognize the progress we've made in the shadow of what we didn't do. Congratulate yourself for these! Celebrate them!

For those of you who simply forgot what you wanted, may I suggest - Post Its!